The Art of Breaking Toxic Relationships.

Hello everyone!! I hate that it always takes such a long time for me to check back in!! My life has been pretty hectic to say the least!! My job has become more demanding and I am working on a project that I’m pretty excited about that has taken up a lot of my time!! I will be announcing soon :).

I wanted to share my heart on toxic relationships and the toll that they can have on all of us. I have had my share of toxic relationships. Toxicity in any form sucks the life out of you and causes you to go in circles with someone that God did not intend for you to do purpose with.  Let me say this. God does not intend for you to endure toxic relationships!! Sure, relationships have their challenges, but you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone that is emotionally, physically or mentally abusive.  You don’t have to deal with someone who does value you or respect you! Always know and remember that! We don’t know how much time we have on this Earth! We never want to waste it by staying in a relationship with someone who brings nothing but drama.

I truly feel there is an art to breaking a toxic relationship. When I say art, I’m suggesting that there is a way to get out of a toxic relationship with grace; by God’s Grace.  Once you have made the decision to let go and to leave someone who is toxic, you will need to pray! There is no way I could’ve gotten out of some of my past relationships without prayer! You are going  to need strength to gain back your peace, and to let go of something that is so familiar. It’s funny how it can be so difficult for us to let someone go even though we know they aren’t good for us. This also applies to friendships! If you have a friend that does not have your best interest at heart, it is best to let them go. This may be difficult, because sometimes some of the most toxic friends in your life may have been your friend since elementary. We can confuse how long we have been friends with someone with how good of a friend they are to us. We can make the mistake of giving too many passes to someone because of how long they have been in our lives.

While praying, make sure you ask God to give you the strength to set boundaries!! Going back and forth with someone and still staying in contact with them isn’t good for anyone involved. Ask God to strengthen you so that you can remain strong! Ask God to remove the desire from your heart to want that person in an intimate way anymore. Make sure you pray for them. I know this is hard request, but trust me, they need prayer as well. Overtime, you will begin to notice a change in yourself.  You won’t desire that relationship anymore. Stay focused on yourself! One of the worst things you can do is run to another relationship to simply fill a void. Learn yourself and ask God to show you His purpose for your life and focus on your purpose. Once you know your purpose and you began to walk in your purpose, you will be so busy doing what God instructed you to do that you won’t have time to play games with anyone.

“We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God.  We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:9 (NLT)

Jesus is Love,

Chelsea

 

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Yoooo…… I Need A Vacation!

Hi guys!! It’s been wayyy too long since I’ve posted my thoughts! It’s been a crazy ride and I can honestly say that time has gotten away from me!!! WOW…is all I can say. This post may be a little shorter than my other posts because I forgot to charge the keyboard for my iPad…. Lord help the day as my grandmother would say.

I posted on Facebook earlier about how important vacations are for your mental health and I thought that I would go into more detail in honor of this month being Mental Health Awareness month. It so easy to get caught up in our jobs, kids and responsibilities that we don’t take time out for ourselves.

This is post is every bit for me as it is for you because I’m that person. I rarely take vacations and when I do, they are working vacations. I KNOW THIS IS HORRIBLE. I really need to make more time for myself. I truly need to schedule some time where I do nothing….nothing is so foreign to me. I haven’t done that for a long period of time in so long. I typically work so much because my job is very demanding and you can easily get behind; it’s a lot to say the least.

But what good are we without time for ourselves?? How can we continue to live in our purpose when we don’t take time to recharge??? We can’t be good to anyone else if we are not good to ourselves. We HAVE to take care of ourselves.

I recently started meditating and it was a game changer. I will meditate first and then pray. Afterwards I try to read my Bible and then go to sleep. Adding meditation to my prayer life shifts my energy back to where it needs to be. It calms be down; Keeps my anxiety in check. Meditation helps me to refocus and chill. I literally have to schedule this. Tonight I decided at 8PM I’m going to meditate and pray and that’s exactly what I did. I chose to make time for myself because I have to live with myself every day and if I’m not mentally strong then I’m no good to anyone else.

Here is OUR challenge. Within the next 6-12 months (or sooner which is better), plan a trip or do something you have always wanted to do!! Let’s make out mental health a priority because we have to. Even if you do a stay-cation in your own town for a few days. This will bring more clarity in our lives. I plan on completing this challenge even if I have to go by myself.

Seek counseling! Pray and ask God how you should recharge. Tell him that you are needing to be fueled again. He is longing to hear from you. He loves all the details about our lives. He wants to know when we are tired or worried. He wants to know when we are about to give up! He cares about how difficult our jobs can be…he cares.

The three take-aways:

1. Take a break and meditate/pray

2. Do something you desire to do

3. Seek counseling

Jesus is Love,

Chelsea

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The Art of Supporting

Good evening!! It’s been too long since I’ve posted! The topic that’s been on my heart lately has been, “Support.” Lets jump right in!

We live in a world where so many people are entrepreneurs which is amazing!!! God has blessed so many of us with business ideas and opportunities! With the rise of entrepreneurs has also caused a rise of critics; social media has taken criticism to another level. People have become internet experts and have opinions about everything you do and they don’t have the expertise to advise you on your craft/passion.

On top of the criticism and opinions, we experience a lack of support from those closest to us. Some people support those that are “close” to them privately and not publicly but they support people who they don’t know; funny how that works.

Do we feel that if we support someone, wish them well, purchase their products or share their post on social media, that we are doing something wrong? Do we feel that if we support someone else that we won’t shine? Or is it that we don’t feel that they are worthy of being supported? I’m not sure what it is, but we need to support each other more. For some reason, we feel that our criticism or lack of support should come before genuine support from the heart.

What is in our heart? What drives us to support someone or not support someone? What drives us to tell someone what is wrong before what is right? Everything is a heart issue. Everything. Encourage those closest to you. Support them. Buy their products, speak highly of them publicly and privately. Don’t be the person who seems them post something amazing on social media and you always send them a “private” text stating, “Congratulations,” and never share their post publicly or comment on their post; but you post and share everyone else’s post.

What people need most right now is prayer, support and encouragement. There is nothing wrong with providing helpful criticism to someone in your circle, especially if it is solicited. Use your discernment on when to give advice/criticism; it’s not always needed. We must understand that most of time it is not always our place to point out something wrong. Amen? Amen.

Jesus is Love,

Chelsea

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” (NLT)

Psalm 31:24 “So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord!” (NLT)

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Self Made…

Hey guys!!

Hope everyone is have an amazing Sunday!! I wanted to post a quick blog about the idea of being self made that I hear so often. Lets jump right in!

The definition of self made means made by oneself and having become successful or rich by one’s own efforts. I don’t know about you, but this definition sounds crazy to me! LOL I never want to come off like I did anything by myself. The idea of being self made is pompous and a lie. Everything that we have and everything that we are able to do is because of God AND the help that He sends us.

I hate that we live in a world where the words BOSS and self made are used as much as we drink water or go to sleep at night. How could we ever think that we did anything by ourselves? The crazy part is that most people don’t use this term lightly or jokingly. I actually know some people who think they are in the position they are in because of everything they did right and because of their own hard work/efforts. I’ve sat across from people who have shared their success stories with me on several occasions and they never mentioned God….

I’m going to say this and leave this right here…take it for whatever it is worth to you…..Know that everything you have and everything that you are is because God smiled on you and chose to bless you. He didn’t bless you because you were so good and because you were so sweet and so hard working….H simply blessed you because he is that kind of friend. He cares for you that much. There is nothing that you can do to earn God’s goodness towards you and His favor on your life.

We can’t afford to allow society’s view of what success is to blind us from who is behind all of our success. We must always keep our mind on Jesus. Our goal should not be to be self made but our goal should always be of service to others and to give God credit for the things he has done forever and always.

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusted in thee.” Isaiah 26:3 (KJV)

Jesus is Love,

Chelsea

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Friends!…How Many of Us Have Them?

Hi guys!

It’s been a minute since I blogged so I thought I would check in :). The importance of friendship has been on my heart heavy lately. Lets jump right in!

The term friend is used so lightly nowadays. We call each other sister, brother and friend just as fast as we say “hello,” and “goodbye.” Why is that? We expect more from people who we barely know and make them apart of lives when maybe they should not be there at all. We must understand the difference between a situationship (LOL Yes! situationship), friendship and an acquaintance.

A situationship is when you are “friends” with someone based on your environment. You work with them or go to church with them. You are around them due to your situation but once you are outside of the situation, you don’t hear from them as much. Now….situationships can sometimes turn into real friendships but most of the time, they may not and that is okay. It’s just important to understand the difference between a friendship and a situationship. If you are out of that situation and you don’t hear from them and they are always cancelling on you when you reach out, it may not be what you think it is.

A friendship lasts no matter the situation. They can move out of the state/country and you still keep in touch and always try to make time for each other when you all are both in the same city. You check on each other and SUPPORT each other. You support each other by praying for each other, checking on each other, showing up to events that you can go to, you like pictures on social media and share each other’s images on social medical to show your support-You support them publicly and not just privately. What I mean by that is, you buy tickets to their events and go instead of just liking it on Instagram and not going. You actually post on their page how proud you are of them and how you are excited for them instead of just sending your message via text or a critique about what they could have done better.

An acquaintance is someone that you see whenever you see LOL You may have met them at a networking event. They are cool and you always speak when you see them. You may have even met them for lunch to discuss business or future goals and partnerships; but that’s about it-remember that.

Listen! There is nothing wrong with either of these three relationships but the key is to know who belongs where and to not get them confused. I’ve even made the mistake of putting people in the wrong categories and chile…..it was a mess! LOL Be encouraged and ask God to send you divine connected relationships. Because everyone needs a good friend and they are so hard to come by! Trust me!

“There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

Jesus is Love,

Chelsea

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The Impact of Not Forgiving……PT. 2

Hey there!! For some reason, this topic of forgiveness has been on my heart lately. I posted a blog a few nights ago regarding the “other side of forgiveness.” If you have not read it, I suggest that you read it!! :). This will be a short blog, so lets jump right in!

It dawned on my today that God is not pleased and it saddens His heart that His people have such a hard time in the area of forgiveness. Think about it. How many times have you heard someone say, “Oh, I don’t fool with that person anymore,” for one reason or another. OR, we say things like “we ended on bad terms and haven’t spoken in years.”

I understand that sometimes, we have tried to reconcile with someone and they won’t allow reconciliation and they won’t respond to you and they don’t want to discuss issues; this can be very hurtful. All you can do in this case is pray for yourself (for healing) and pray for that person and move on.

BUT, we know those cases where maybe two people are being stubborn and as a result, a relationship or friendship is lost……this is what I feel makes God’s heart sad. For example, When a marriage is broken because of pride and not being forgiving. When a friendship is broken. When a mother/daughter relationship is broken. Ultimately, God’s purpose was not fulfilled. What I mean by that he when he calls two people together in marriage and they divorce ultimately over pride and not forgiving each other, they separate but also God’s purpose and plan in their marriage separates.

When someone just cuts off a friendship or relationship and their is heart hardened, the purpose is taken out of that. I believe there are needs that need to be met but will not be met because bridges have been burned from people that we truly needed because we didn’t handle their hearts right and we chose not to forgive…..This is just food for thought. Forgiveness is bigger than us.

Jesus is Love,

Chelsea

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Filed under Christianity, Distractions, forgiveness, God, hurt, Jesus, Life

The other side of forgiveness…

Hi guys! I hope everyone is having a blessed week! I wont be before you long, but something dropped in my Spirit today. Lets jump right in!!

So often, I hear people talk about FORGIVENESS. I am fully on board with forgiveness and Lord knows that I’ve had my share of situations where I had to forgive people and HELP people who hurt my heart in a way that can’t fully be articulated…..But it dawned on me, what if I was on the other side? Like what if I am the one who did the wrong doing and just decided not to apologize. Okay. Cool….But not apologizing could be causing more awkwardness and tension than necessary. And truth be told, it is causing that person to possibly hold on to something longer…..in a way it could be stalling forgiveness because of the hardness of another person’s heart.

So…true story….

Many years ago, I had a HEART BREAKING EXPERIENCE. I remember how mad I was and how betrayed I felt. I was so incredibly hurt to say the least. For a while I wouldn’t speak to that person and would flat out ignore them! Terrible, I know! BUT! Chile….I was just hurt. BUT! That person (sooner than later) wrote me a letter and took me out to dinner and was genuinely sorry. From that point on, I accepted the apology and the tension lifted and we never had another issue.

Now…..what if that person would have let the issue linger and not right the wrong? Yes, with prayer and time I would have gotten over it but how much longer would that situation, awkwardness and hurt have lingered?

The bottom line is this, we can help with someone forgive us if we are willing to own up to what we did wrong and sincerely apologize because lets keep 100! People and your heart knows when a person is genuine or not. Also, when we apologize to people, we have to stop saying, “I apologize for everything.” What is everything? We must pick up the phone and apologize and NOT APOLOGIZE via text!! Whew! LOL We have to stop doing that people of God.

At the end of day, regardless if someone else apologizes or not, we have to pray about and move on AND ultimately forgive them; this I know….Trust me! If there is someone you need to apologize to, call them tonight and own whatever the wrong was and be sincere…..and if you are on the opposite end of the situation, and you never receive an apology; its okay. I have learned to pray and PRAY FOR MYSELF AND FOR THAT PERSON. This is difficult to do but it must be done in order to move on with life.

Matthew 5:44 “But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you.” (NLT)

Jesus is Love,

Chelsea

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Filed under Christianity, forgiveness, God, hurt, Jesus, Life, Process